It Only  Hurts When I'm Breathing
by Elphaba713
Summary: Kinda hard to explain...Rogue thinks about how she feels after Scott breaks up with her. Will end up either RogueScott or RogueGambit...but how that works will be explained inside.


Okay. I couldn't decide whether this should have a sad ending or a happy ending. So, I'm doing both! This is the sad ending; the second chapter, when I post it, is basically the same story but with a happy ending. Read them both please; they are actually different. Review and tell me which you like best and whether I should continue one of them (or both, if you think I should). This particular version of the story is Rogue/Scott all the way, and will stay so when/if it is continued.  
  
Dislcaimer: I don't own X-Men Evolution. If I did, Jean would be dead and Rogue and Scott would be together. The song It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing is by Shania Twain and property of her.  
  
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Rogue sighed as she took the last picture out of her photo album and stuck it with the others in the bottom of her drawer. She didn't want the memories anymore...And I don't need them, either, she reminded herself firmly. She couldn't help but stare at the pictures a moment before closing her drawer...she and Scott looked so happy together. How did...no, she didn't care how anymore.  
  
Hope life's been good to you  
  
since you've been gone  
  
I'm doin' fine now - I've finally moved on  
  
It's not so bad - I'm not that sad  
  
She walked out of the room, managing to smile at Kitty as she passed her. The girl always tried to be so encouraging to her now...it was like she didn't know that Rogue was fine. She had survived, she was alive, and she was free! She couldn't be happier. ...Right?  
  
I'm not surprised just how well I survived  
I'm over the worst, and I feel so alive  
I can't complain - I'm free again  
  
Rogue walked into the den, and instantly found herself wanting to walk right back out. Scott and Jean were sitting on the couch, and Scott had his arm around her. But that was alright...he could do that if he liked, nothing was stopping him. She was over him. It didn't hurt anymore...much. She took a deep breath, fourced herself to smile, and continued through the den.  
  
And it only hurts when I'm breathing  
My heart only breaks when it's beating  
My dreams only die when I'm dreaming  
So, I hold my breath - to forget  
  
Scott and Jean glanced up as she walked by. "Hey, Rogue. How're you?" Scott asked, smiling at her slightly.  
"Ah'm fine, thanks," she said simply, barely glancing at him.  
"You sure?" he asked, sounding a bit uncertain. She assumed he looked it, too, but she skillfully avoided eye contact. The slight concern in his voice wasn't there, of course, she was imagining it, and she shouldn't be.  
"Of course Ah'm sure, Scott." She nodded slightly and turned to walk off before he could say anything more...she didn't trust herself there any longer. Although, she was fine, of course...it was just a bit awkward, with Jean there and all, since she and Jean didn't get along. It had nothing to do with Scott, or the fact that he and Jean were together.  
  
Don't thing I'm lyin' 'round cryin' at night  
There's no need to worry, I'm really all right  
I've never looked back - as a matter of fact  
  
Hastily escaping out the front door, Rogue found herself aimlessly wandering around the grounds. She had no idea where she wanted to go, and she had completely forgotten why she had come out here. She headed towards her favourite tree and started climbing; she could sit up there until she remembered what she had wanted to do. Seeing Scott had completely lost her her train of thought...no, she had just forgotten. It wasn't Scott. It couldn't be Scott.  
  
And it only hurts when I'm breathing  
My heart only breaks when it's beating  
My dreams only die when I'm dreaming  
So, I hold my breath - to forget  
  
Rogue sighed, reaching a large branch and stretching out on her stomach, staring down at the ground. Maybe it could be Scott. She was over him, wasn't she? Yes, of course she was...in her mind, she was. In her heart...  
  
It only hurts when I breathe  
  
How could she not be over him, though? He obviously was more than over her. She could easily picture the slightly smug grin Jean had been wearing, the happy smile that Scott had been directing towards the redhead instead of towards her. And still she told herself she didn't care. It was over.  
  
Mmm, no, I've never looked back - as a matter of fact  
  
She had to be over him. After all, it was better this way. Everyone was happier: Jean finally had the guy she'd been chasing. Scott finally was with the girl he wanted...the one he really wanted. And as for herself...she...had to be happier...somehow...  
  
And it only hurts when I'm breathing  
My heart only breaks when it's beating  
My dreams only die when I'm dreaming  
So, I hold my breath - to forget  
  
Well, it didn't hurt anymore - as long as she didn't breathe.  
  
Hurts when I'm breathing  
  
She could collect the pieces of her heart and move on - if only her heart weren't still breaking with each beat.  
  
Breaks when it's beating  
  
She could get back to dreaming - but her dreams all died before they even truly had life.  
  
Die when I'm dreaming  
  
She wasn't over him. She couldn't deny it anymore; she had never really been able to fool herself anyways. She closed her eyes, a small sob escaping her lips as she buried her head in her arms. Hidden by the branches and leaves, up where no one could see her, where there was no one to offer advice, encouragement, or even just comfort, she cried. And inside, Scott and Jean kissed, the boy oblivious to the pain he was causing a lonely girl sobbing such a short distance away.  
  
It only hurts when I breathe 


End file.
